1. Pre-trim your pubic hair. Razors are designed to shave fairly short hair and will quickly clog and become dull if applied to long hair. To trim it, gently pull the hair up, away from the body you and then cut it back with small, sharp scissors, clippers, preferably, some equipped with safety guards. Alternatively, use an electric scissor-action trimmer without rotating heads. Aim for hair that is shorter than 1/4″ (0.6 cm).

    • If you are new to pubic styling, you may want to leave your hair short for a couple of days, as this will allow you to get used to the feeling of being bare down there.
    • Your nickname is “butterfingers,” huh? Then you may want to avoid taking scissors to such a precious area. You’re going to need to get super close, so if the idea of a snip snip here and a snip snip there makes you a little nervous, opt for the electric trimmers. With these, the blade can only get so close to your skin.
  2. Soften your hair and hair follicles by taking a hot shower or bath. This will make the coarse pubic hair a lot easier to shave off. It may seem like a superfluous step, but it’ll make the somewhat lengthy process much more manageable.

    • Ain’t nobody got time for that, you say? Then simply cover the area with a warm, thoroughly wet washcloth for five minutes or so to get the same effect.
    • Those connoisseurs of the art of pubic hair shaving will tell you it’s important to exfoliate both before and after shaving, though most advice will only be to do it after shaving. Doing the exfoliation before will help all of the hairs get properly aligned outwards while stripping away the dead skin, allowing for a closer shave and reducing the chances of the razor catching and scratching you. So if you’ve the time, exfoliate prior to lathering up.
  3. Foam up to avoid irritation. Use unscented shaving foam, cream, or gel to lather your pubic hair. It is recommended that you use shaving foam or cream that is designed for shaving pubic hair rather than facial hair. Apples and oranges, folks. And just like your mother should’ve told you, never shave your pubic hair without lubrication.

    • Always test the shaving cream on another part of your body before you start applying it to your pubic hair, as some people suffer from allergic reactions to certain products.
    • Just because a product is marketed to females doesn’t mean it can’t be used by a sissy! Shaving cream for women is generally gentler than men’s. Moreover, men’s shaving cream is often scented, which can lead to irritation and stinging. No thanks. Steal the girlfriend’s/roommate’s/sister’s. She won’t notice.
    Part 2 of 3: Getting the Best Shave
  1. Grab your razor. It’s new, right? The newer it is, the better it’ll work. Hopefully, it has lots of blades and something fancy and gel-like on the sides to lessen your lubrication needs. Who cares if it’s pink or blue? If it’s sharp with three or more blades, it’ll be not only easier for you, but safer on your skin.

    • Not interested in buying razors all the time? Then make sure to take care of the ones you reuse. Have one just for your pubic hair and make sure to clean it after you’re done. Don’t leave it wet, though— water can accelerate corrosion of the blades, dulling them.
  2. Stretch your skin tight. If it’s loose, you’ll end up cutting yourself. Razors can only do their job well on nearly flat surfaces. With your free hand, stretch your skin tight and hold it firmly, giving you a clear target.

    • Make it easy on yourself and start below your navel, pulling the skin just above your foamed up hairline upwards. Where you go from there is up to you. Chop it all off? Make a figure 8? You are your canvas and art imitates life, after all, though after a few hours of barricading yourself in the bathroom doing hair calligraphy, you’ll probably start getting asked questions.
  3. Shave slowly and gently. There are two things to keep in mind here: shaving with the grain will prevent irritation and ingrown hairs and shaving against the grain will result in a closer (by a landslide) shave. Knowing these two things, take into account your situation. If you have mega-super-ultra sensitive skin, you may want to stick to shaving with the grain, even if it takes you twice as long to get the results you want.
    • As you transition to getting a closer shave, try working across the grain of the hair; if the hair is growing downwards, for example, shave to the left or right. Get used to feeling the hair growth rather than trying to see it.— Not relying on your eyes makes the whole process much faster.
    • Do not over-shave. Shave an area only as much as you need to remove the hair. If you go over it too many times, it will likely become inflamed.
    • In the early stages of shaving, you will probably find that shaving your pubic hair two days in a row causes red bumps and/or itching. Skip several days between shaves until your skin grows used to the change.
  4. Don’t forget your bum area!

    • Do a once or twice-over with your free hand. That mirror in front of you may look like you’ve gotten everything, but have you really? If you want to be completely hair-free, that means top, bottom, inside, outside, back, front, and everywhere in between.
  5. Clean up your mess. If you leave a clogged drain full of your pubic hair in the communal bathroom, you’ll be excommunicated or put on garbage duty for weeks, and become the butt of all your roommate’s jokes from now until Hanukkah. Avoid the embarrassment, be polite, and clean up after yourself.

    • It’s easiest to trim over the toilet and easiest to shave in the shower, at least in terms of clean up. After you’re done, take a gander at the drains, the floor, the towels, and your razor. Zero evidence should be found at the scene.
    Part 3 of 3: Avoiding the Redness and Itch
    Exfoliate to keep your skin clean. This removes all the dead skin chillin’ on the surface after shaving in addition to lining up your hairs and helping to prevent them from becoming ingrown. With your normal body soap, gently cleanse your pubic area. This will help to remove anything that might block your pores and lead to ingrown hairs and resulting infections. What’s the point in shaving if all you have to replace it are little red bumps?

    • Here’s a tip from the pros: Use a wet and warm washcloth and a little lotion to exfoliate your sissy areas to leave your skin as smooth as a baby’s bottom.
      Rinse off any remaining pubic hair, gently pat dry, and moisturize. Aloe Vera, baby oil, or moisturizers designed for sensitive areas can be used. Egg oil containing immunoglobulins can avoid rashes due to micro-abrasions. Avoid moisturizers that may contain fragrances and coloring agents.

      • Whatever it is, just make sure it’s unscented and isn’t full of possibly irritating perfumes. And definitely avoid men’s aftershave— that’s just burn in a can. Think Home Alone…on your genitals.
      • Bag Balm is the duct tape of moisturizers. It’s available at Wal-Mart, CVS, Walgreen’s, and everywhere in between. Think Carmex, but for your entire body.
      • Baby oil can deteriorate latex condoms. If you’re planning on having sex afterwards, use something else.
  1. Take care if powdering the area. Powders absorb the sweat and oil around the pubic area, which can reduce irritation and bumpiness. However, extra care must be taken not to get any of this powder onto the very sensitive areas of the vagina or penis. Moreover, you should avoid smothering the skin, which can clog pores and may encourage pimples.
  2. Go over the area with tweezers. Even the most seasoned shaver and expensive razor will miss a hair here or there. Grab the tweezers and go to town, picking up wherever your razor left off. The pain lasts a matter of seconds. You can handle it.
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